I'm shifting gears here a bit--pulling away from Facebook in big ways, dialing down my blog voice, and waking up to journal each morning. I'm intentionally changing habits where I'm reaching for a cup of immediate gratification. That race to be loud and knowing and awesome all the time is acidic. It's gobbling up something bigger and I'm backing away a bit to remember that.
|Oh my. Poor flowers. That water.....|
Sometimes, I run to say things here when it should be I run to my husband with thoughts.
Sometimes, I act like I know things and the morning sun sees me bent over the sink and scanning my heart for my fumbling and fallen bits.
Too many times, I let Facebook fracture my focus, my drive, my resolve to live my best, glorious in all its ordinary, life.
Sometimes I need to sit down, shut up, and listen: to my family, the birds, the quiet voice inside that needs a little more room to breathe.
I need to write out questions I don't want to answer or about things I don't have the first clue how to tackle because they're ugly or they're private or they're just freaking hard. I need time for those things tucked in my heart and not because I want to use them later, to lasso them in to stand on stage and be a part of something I can announce.
This isn't to say I'm going away. I would hate to crush my 10 readers. Nope, not going. Just searching for a little better balance between my public and private life and where I want my writing to come alive in all of that.
If you at all struggle with any of this, please let me know. We can raise our coffee cups in the air to each other and offer up a virtual hug.